I'm addressing this question because I can see from my secret blogger statistics that people have ended up on 'Close Encounters' after Googling 'Does Dukan Diet kill you?' Perhaps you didn't know that bloggers have access to this kind of information. We do. So the individual who has been searching 'Catherine Fox fart', go and stand in the corner. The global obsession with Dukan brings quite a bit of traffic my blog's way. 'What happens if you eat pecan nuts on the Dukan Diet?' someone asks. Another person rather more tersely searches ' Dukan Donut.'
So let me do what I can to field your questions. Does the Dukan diet kill you? Well, I'm afraid that if you stick rigidly to it, you will eventually die. But you will anyway. Let's refine the question a bit. Does doing the Dukan diet kill you more quickly than not doing the Dukan diet? Gosh, I really don't know. I only have my own case to go on. I know I weigh around 20lb less than I did before I started. That's meant to be healthier, isn't it? But there are risks that must be acknowledged. Death by falling pilchard tins in Lidl. Accidental inhalation of oatbran. It could happen. Or being murdered by people who are sick of hearing about the sodding Dukan diet.
But what about the long term? Of course, I may turn into one of those people who put all the weight back on AND MORE, ha ha ha! Told you! Yes, I may be worse off in a couple of years time, and the Dukan diet will be to blame. Nobody says this sort of thing to your face if you lose weight. They say, 'Oh wow, you're looking fantastic! cow You've lost so much weight! I hate you Don't lose any more, will you! or I'll sit on you with my big fat arse and flatten you, you twiglet!' Why is there a hint of schadenfreude in the air when a lapsed dieter resumes their original proportions?
Because we are only human. And because weight gain and loss is never a simple scientific procedure. It's never just Eat Less, Exercise More, Lose weight, Sorted. It's mired down in emotions and image and personal worth. Plus it's a multi-billion pound market. It should be about health, shouldn't it? But it ain't.
That said, I feel good and I can run faster now. Though I'm nowhere near as effective at pinning people down on the judo mat. Swings and roundabouts.
And while you're here, why not turn your mind to higher things than weight obsession and self image? Why not buy my mate Richard Beard's book:
About this blog
This is a window into the weird world of Anglicanism, as experienced on a Cathedral Close. Has anything much happened since Trollope's Barchester Chronicles? You will still see the 'canon in residence' hurrying across to choral Evensong, robes flapping, as the late bell chimes. But look carefully and you will notice he is checking the football score on his iPhone as he runs. This is also a writer's blog. It charts the agony and ecstasy of the novelist's life. And it's a fighter's blog. It charts the agony and ecstasy of the judo mat. Well, the agony, anyway.