What to Wear When It Turns Warm

After the relentless grey of the last couple of months a strange bright object has been sighted in the sky.  After a flurry of googling, we have identified it as the sun.  Suddenly it's spring.  And it was sudden.  People went out in the morning in winter coats only to look completely foolish by the end of the day.

So.  What should we be wearing in this glorious weather?  That is quite simple for young women to answer.  They will continue to wear their shorts, only now they can leave off the black tights they've been wearing underneath.  Or, if they are idle young women, they can scissor the tights off at upper thigh level without troubling to get undressed.

When you reach an interesting age--and I think 50 must qualify--the wearing of short shorts probably needs to be confined to sporting activities.  But having noted the opaque tights+shorts combo, I will confess that I've contemplated an old pair of jeans and wondered about turning them into cut-offs.  But then I asked myself this one simple question: Do I want my sons to talk to me ever again? 

Which leaves me with a summer clothing dilemma.  My 'When in doubt, wear black' maxim doesn't hold up well here; especially if you're bored to death of wearing dark dismal wintery colours.  The answer, of course, is to wear white.  White trousers with some bracing colour blocking: that is my solution.  A rummage in my trouser drawer revealed a pair of white capri pants I'd completely forgotten about.  I also found a vacuum packed bag of light-coloured clothing lurking under a clothes rail, full of things not seen since the autumn.  It was all rather exciting, like the childhood ritual of opening the trunk full of summer clothes used to be.

One small caveat, however.  Don't wear white trousers when you are chipping 6 years of filth off your cooker prior to moving house.  Or if you do, make sure you team it with a nice long apron.  

What to Wear on the First Day of Spring

This is the first day of spring.  (Here in the northern hemisphere, obviously.)  Today is the spring equinox, when day and night are of equal length.  What should one wear to mark this happy day?  Look how lovely it is in Lichfield: 

Blue, blue sky over the cathedral, and the weeping willow trees in leaf at the end of Stowe Pool.  I went out for a walk specifically to check whether the May blossom is out yet, with a view to casting a clout.  It doesn't seem to be, so just as well I was still in my winter garb of treggings, boots and jumper.  

But I was also wearing sunglasses.  Yes, sunglasses are what to wear on the first day of spring when it's a lovely day.  Especially if you have blue eyes, like me.  I was once accused of being a poseur for wearing my sunglasses on a cloudy day.  I replied, 'If you have blue eyes you have to take care of them!'  I may possibly have made some kind of grand queeny gesture as I said this.  But it's true: people with light-coloured eyes are more likely to develop cataracts. So look after those baby blues, people.  Wear your sunglasses with pride, even in a thunderstorm.

I glanced about me as I walked and noticed that others seem to think that on the first day of spring you should be wearing shorts.  Everywhere I look at the moment: shorts.  Morning, noon, and night: shorts.  Shorts of all kinds are very fashionable at the moment.  Often they are teamed with woolly tights.  Sometimes they are teamed with nice pins.  Many times, however, they are teamed with legs best kept out of sight.  This may be completely lardist of me, I admit.  

I do own a couple of pairs of shorts, but I only wear them under my judo trousers.  Long years of experimenting have proved that a snug pair of shorts are the best way of anchoring your white T-shirt.  Half your time on the mat as a female judo player is wasted in tucking your T-shirt back in.  If you are wearing shorts this figure goes down to around 10%.  That, my friends, is the only use I have for shorts.