Today I'm wearing mostly black. Black is supposed be a terribly draining colour for the mature woman to wear. But it is also meant to be immensely slimming. So the answer, clearly, is to wear black, but add a rose pink scarf twined about your crêpey neck to lend a rosy glow to your complexion.
Something you learn when you are wearing black is just how many shades of black there are. Bluey black, browny black, greeny black and by far the most common shade of black--charcoal grey. This is black cotton after you've washed it a dozen times. You still think of them as your 'black jeans' and 'black leggings', but they aren't really, are they? Even if you devoutly launder them in washing powder for colours. But who cares? They're black enough.
So I'm wearing my black-enough leggings with a large long black cowl-neck jumper-tunic thing. The label says 'TU', which means it came originally from Sainsbury's. I can't help feeling that's a bit over-familiar. It should be 'VOUS'. After all, (as iPhone Siri says when you say 'I love you, Siri') you hardly know me, big black jumper-tunic from Sainsbury's. I have now reached the age where I am addressed as 'Madame' in France. This surely entitles me to the same degree of respect from supermarket clothes?
On the whole, I don't buy supermarket clothes, even from charity shops. Sheer snobbery, I admit. I've frequently gone through this thought process: Ooh, that's nice! Oh. George and put it back on the rack. I'm not quite sure why I have this prejudice. It's possibly because I feel a vague hostility to supermarkets in general. The way they bombard you with so much choice. Their secret plan to round up all the merchandise in the universe and put it under one roof, then hold you captive until you've bought it all. They want us to buy supermarket everything. Bread, insurance, fruit, meat, garden equipment, pharmacy, dentistry, jumpers, weddings, pots and pans, DVDs, shampoo, tractors, foreign holidays, muffins, babies, the moon. Every little helps!
Oh shut UP, and leave me alone, supermarkets.
This is why I shop at Lidl, mostly. It's the closest the supermarket world gets to a charity shop. You never quite know what you're going to find there.
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